Prom

I tackled a duckling!
You called it "King Canute!"

I neutered the interns!
You enraptured the saboteurs!

Then we drove all the gunk out of Ireland!

In the Movie, Tina Fey will play Dahlia Lithwick!

Your lawyer locks you in the
loo of a rural
jury-box with a

litter of piglets and a
thick fur wig!

You deserted your yurt!

You deserted your yurt and

suddenly you were
dancing in the movies!

Everybody loved you!

(Smooch!)

Everybody loves you now!

Body Count

We counted by teeth!
We counted by squeaks and hee-haw whiskey!

We counted by ashes!
We counted by dimes!

We counted by blood and the blinding arc of revelation!

Menu

Gumbo bunions for the matrons and snot-bigots!
Mutton for the goons!

Bongo onions for the Romans and shit-midgets!
Mush for Grandma!

Bingo honey for the crazy girls!

Studio City

Have you ever eaten human flesh?
Have you ever eaten human flesh in a major motion picture?

I own your eyeball!

I own your ear!

I own your ear and all I had to eat was
human flesh in a major motion picture!

Stalker

My real name rhymes with zebra!
I'm stalking the Queen of Sweden

as we speak!

Too Cute to Die

If you're ever about to be executed,
don't bother to beg your

ex-girlfriend to pay the exorbitant ransom!

She moved to Milan more than 25 years ago!
She won't even take your calls!

Sign

It looks like a sign to
warn children away from
unsafe drinking water!

They say it can sing like Milton Eisenhower!
It amuses the fawns!

Aren't they darlings?

It amuses the darling fawns!

Wild West

Are you in love with a horse
or are you more like naked?

Naked means naked!
Hanged means hanged!

A horse is horse!

A horse is a horse and a horse is naked!

Birthday Surprise

We ran for the exits.
The exits ran away.

Why were we even running?
Where else did we want to be?

Then the trees ran away,
then the sky,

then the ducks ran away with the bunnies,
and none of them said goodbye!

Closer

Some people got love.
Some didn't.

Some people got hate.
Some didn't.

Some people say the world
sways like a cradle.

Some people say the world
sways like an earthquake.

Some people say the world sways like an earthquake
and we're closer to the end than the beginning.

Week-end

It's the end of the world!
It's the end of the week!

Our sleek but
plus-size housekeeper pulses in her sleep!

Our God is a hockey puck!
Our world is a fluke!

It's the end of the war!
It's the end of the week!

Our sleek but
plus-size housekeeper pulses in her sleep!

In the Army of Cannibals

Did you really re-enlist in the
Army of Cannibals?

No, I never re-enlisted!

I was born in the
Army of Cannibals!

I will die in the
Army of Cannibals and in the

Army of Cannibals I will be
eaten.

I Am My Selfie

We who pretend to be
pure of heart

We who pretend to be
selfless

I am my selfie
motherfuckers

I am my selfie
motherfuckers

We who pretend to be
pure of heart

We who pretend to be
selfless

Boomerang

Maybe I be famous for screaming-in-the-sanctuary!
Maybe I be famous for hurdy-blood-gurdy!
Maybe I be famous for murder-words-bum-udders!

(I can also throw a boomerang.)

Maybe I be famous for freak-you-out-Abigail!
Maybe I be famous for feed-you-to-my-pigs!
Maybe I be famous for fat-like-forget-you!

(I can also knit a sock.)