Script

Sharon Stone dances naked down Hollywood Boulevard
and of course she has to pull this stunt in front of a

busload of Japanese tourists!

Then the tourists transform into
space-worms and wiggle all over the bus with their

Nikons and Canons and their crazy antennae!

These are very bad worms!

They posted a lol-cat on my home-page!
They ate my scone!

They left me to die on the Pacific Coast Highway!

Then the worms wiggle off the bus and there's
blood and guts everywhere!

Blood and guts in West Hollywood!
Blood and guts in Bel Air!

Comfort Inn

Clean sheets, neatly folded towels,
and it's easy to
find me on a map!

Comfort Inn off the Sweet Grass Exit on Interstate 90!

"Here exactly I am," I say out loud, and on TV

Dick Powell sings Lullaby of Broadway

while a
cast of thousands spins and twirls and

suddenly I see your face
in every face on Broadway!

Bio

This is absolutely
spectacular heroin, says the
motherly roadie for the Rolling Stones.
So what if we live in a brutal plutocracy?
Think about your forever and everywhere all-access pass!
Think about the enigma of crunk and nacre!
Think about Michael Jackson embalmed in rose oil!

The least you can do is
smile for the fucking cameras!

Lake Tahoe

Fog on the lake,
frost in the pines,
bad luck in the lakeside casinos.

A duck quacks!

Autumn.

Sky-box

I live in a box in the
sky over Tokyo

and Americans always ask me
why I live in a box and how much
rent do I pay?

Why not live over St. Tropez or St. Moritz?

Somewhere a man can buy a goddamned Twinkie!

Zone

You'll know if this
war was all about commodities,
when they ship you home in a box!

Now shut the fuck up!

Forties

We sat down in the middle of
somebody's moving day and listened to a
pile of old cds from the Cure and Oasis and so on,
and that was probably the last or the
next to the last or the next to the next to
the next to the last time we ever asked ourselves,
who are we and where are we going?

I Hate the Yankees!

They inflamed my acne!
They mocked my yak!
They maced my nanny!

They never get the joke!

They never get the joke,
not even if you explain it to them in a
million different languages!

They never get the joke,
not even if you write it in flaming letters across the sky!
Not even if you engrave it in their DNA!

They never get the joke!

Sky

If you live in the sky,
you may be blue!
You may be blank!

You may fade into thunder!
You may fade into pink!

Someone may trade you for a pie!

You may spin like a windmill or
stick like fixed stars!

Who are you?
Who are you?
Who are you?

Who are you in the bars?
Who are you on the twilight boulevards?

Night-life

I wanted a life, and I wanted a night-life
but if I had only wanted a day-life,
I could have lived anywhere!

I could have lived in Siberia!
I could have lived in Ecuador!

I could have lived in the
snowy fields or the
hummingbird-jungle!

But I wanted a life, and I wanted a night-life,
so I lived in New York or Los Angeles,
Bali Malibu Hong Kong Honolulu...

Did you follow the sun, my friends,
or did you follow the dolphins?

Hampton Roads

I was born between Hampton Roads and the Chesapeake Bay,
ocean into the bay, bay back into the ocean,
Pensacola to Ocracoke Island and Roanoke Sound.

When I was 14 years old my older
brother and I recreated a 40's jazz band called the
Road Amps (get it?)
which our friends twisted into the
Hump Rats and as that we toured for
14 years or 14 minutes!

Ocean into the bay, bay back into the ocean,
as they say, and now there's even a
local revival band that plays
ska in the upscale
college bars on Ocracoke Island and Hampton Roads.

Sunrise in Malibu

High tide at sunrise!

High tide all the way to Topanga
Canyon and Rancho Cucamonga and

how much
evil can you even

imagine, if you were
born in Bel-Air and the farthest

east you ever went was Malibu?

Vacation

We were young.
We were wrong.

All we wanted was cake!

So they gave us a steak of
unknown origin, and a

life-time vacation among the cannibals.

Bluegrass

Dance if you can,
and if you can't dance,
then fiddle!

But if you can't dance
and you can't even fiddle,
you are no true man.

A Hollywood Fuck-Up

Aren't you the guy who cast hamsters as
sex-crazed cannibals in your all-hamster
remake of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre?

Nobody even knows what sex they are!
They could be anything!