Mop

Swampers walking home from work at
6 AM and I'm jammed in a limo with
everyone I know or ever knew.

Or maybe I'm riding a mop-truck,
and everyone I
know is a
mop.

Iraq Iran

Spank the sissy!
Spank the sissy's kin!
Win in Iraq Iran Iraq Iran Iraq Iran!

My beanie is bigger than your bedpan!
I nabbed your baby!
We can always breed again!

Win in Iraq Iran Iraq Iran Iraq Iran!

Can you paint the constellations,
or buy Batman back from the cinema of bedpans?
Am I under your beanie?

Win in Iraq Iran Iraq Iran Iraq Iran!

Bum

My decoder ring is beeping.
I assume it's a call from you.

I'm the Thumb of God, and you're the
only bum who knows my number.

Ribs

All I ever wanted was a little bar & grill
with a couple of strippers and a
red carpet on the runway.

Ribs, strippers, and bibs!
That's the ticket!

Ribs, strippers, and bibs!

Mommy

I was born in a morgue!
I hate the taste of blood!
I share my roomette with a hundred executioners!

Mommy!

If we only had a boat, or a sofa-bed!
We could always watch TV on our sofa-bed,
or sail far away in our boat.

Ham

Are you an alumnus of my 
unlicensed laundromat?

I ham who I ham!

I ham who am!

I ham who ham, 
and I burned up all your underpants!

Generation X-Ray

Today you may be
the pearliest
particle-laureate at M.I.T. and
tomorrow you may be

the most

under-educated earl in West
Essex, East Wessex, North Sussex, and so on.

Are you a Dane?
I will pay you to go away!

Today you may be fathers and daughters or mothers and sons
and tomorrow you may be nothing.

Bad Nicknames

I'm the Gizzard of Oz!
O ye mighty digerati!

I'm the Gizzard of Oz!

I can gargle a clam!
I'm a gnat in your jam
You repealed my peruke!

I'm the Puke of Url!

Scalper

I'm a math-and-calf-scalper.
Are you my calf?

What's the square root of 27889?
What's the cube root of 487443403?

I'm a math-and-calf-scalper.
Are you my calf?